No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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