Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Its about making memories worth repressing
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
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