AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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