They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My balls are so social today.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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