just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
