Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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