I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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