Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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