Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
