every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have feelings that need drinking.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i think my cat just said my name.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize