you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
