Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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