Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
