Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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