I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
