I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
