Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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