i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize