I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
