Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
