how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
sex in a hospital.. check
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
