please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
