woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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