He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
