three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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