um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
false alarm. still invincible.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
