dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
