She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
