My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
