i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
