My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize