I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
