Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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