what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
