'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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