Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
