Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He passed out mid-signature
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
