What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize