why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
