I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
