I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
