dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
