He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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