I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
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If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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