How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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