Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize