It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
