i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
