Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
