nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
