I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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