It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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