I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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