So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
