you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Randomize
