dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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