We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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