just tell him i said nine months
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
