yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
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You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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