I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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