Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
