is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
