Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
