I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.