You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance