We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.