i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
