that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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