New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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