Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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