What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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