Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
