He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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