Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize