9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize